the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
