Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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