OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
