How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
