btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
