K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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