which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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