your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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