i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
