He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
