the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I was going through my settings and the phone randomly started playing "Crazy Little Thing Called Love" by Dwight Yoakum. Out loud. At full volume. I was shitting. There were 3 other people in the bathroom. I love iOS 7.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Randomize
