I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
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