Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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