i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
