So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
I'm getting married
To pizza
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
