Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
They are going to name an STD after you.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
