out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
