I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
