Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
