just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
foreskin is a definite game changer
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Randomize
