Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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