plz talk dirty to me
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
