Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
My life is a requiem composed in the key of fuck.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
