i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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