So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
you inspire me to be a worse person
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I've been randomly kik messaging bearded men I find on Instagram while sitting unshowered in my underpants. I'm like the girl version of a creepy uncle.
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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