i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You'd be so proud. I have the flu/sore throat, so I've tied a scarf around my head and I'm microwaving jagerbombs. Let it never be said I'm not commited.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
Randomize
