He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
