just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
