The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize
