Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
Randomize
