last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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