Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
