it's like iHOP with fire
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
