she smelled like a LAN party
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
I was officially considered the drunkest person in cuba when the bartender at the swim up bar made me wear a life jacket for 'safety purposes'
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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