Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
