you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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