I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
