i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
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