it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
home. puking in laundry basket.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
