When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
as a side note pls kill me
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