My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
