That's intense
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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