mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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