i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
he puts the penis in happiness.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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