Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
