Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
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