i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
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