I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
I'm drunk and don't know where I am. There's a giant metal penguin if that helps.
Randomize
