god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Why do I feel like I need to drink to feel better about the things I do when I'm drunk
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
