Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
